Man, I’m old.
I went to bed last night at 2100–9:00 pm for those non-military/non-medical types. New Year’s Eve, and I cut out three hours before midnight. Where did my youth go?
Don’t get me wrong; the early morning hours sometimes help me to concentrate on things like writing and catching up on the non-day-job things I need to do. I’ve grown accustomed to the mornings where I sit and listen to music by the light of the computer screen. I don’t necessarily like getting up this early, but I do like that I can still get things done.
I think about my younger days (even just a few years younger), and I’m reminded that as I age my tolerance for partying decreases significantly. Sure, I’ll go out to dinner or movies with others. I’ll socialize at Phoenix Comicon (and this year, Dragon Con). But going to bars? Clubs? Wild house parties? Those are things of the past for me. And I’ve learned that I really don’t mind this.
I don’t know if it’s true what they say about wisdom accompanying this thing called aging. I’ve wised up to the fact that partying just doesn’t hold any appeal to me anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m wise. Far from it, I think. I still make mistakes–often the same ones repeatedly–and there’s a lot about life that I still don’t know. I have a lot to learn, which I guess is a good thing. In my opinion, once you stop learning things life gets pretty boring. What’s left after you’ve learned everything you can? How do you keep your mind sharp?
In the past five years I’ve gone from a night owl with chronic morning grogginess to a person who routinely wakes up before 4:00 a.m. and almost immediately starts doing something. That “something” may just be messing around on the laptop, but it’s still different from my pre-morning mornings, when I would sit up and wash my Ritalin down with an energy drink or two just to be able to function.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve stopped the Ritalin and replaced it with Adderal (Ritalin quit helping as well as it used to), and I still drink energy drinks or Frappuchinos, but I don’t need them the second I wake up like I used to, and I even forgo the caffeine if I feel awake enough to make do with water or lemonade or some such thing.
Yeah, I’m getting old. Tired all day, awake at nothing in the morning, going to bed early…but I’m still young, too. I can pick up new hobbies, I can write new things–I’m still able to grow and keep on trucking. So I guess I should look at that as a good thing and not try to obsess over the relative age. So I’m older. So I don’t live the exciting night life. So what?
I’m going to get up, get moving, and get things done. I’m just going to do them earlier.