Yeah, I’ll admit it. I’m a narcissist. Big-time. Odd for an introvert, right? Well I don’t have any statistics on the matter–hell, I don’t even know if any studies have been done–but it seems odd to me.
I’ve noticed lately that I tend to make things about myself, especially in situations where it shouldn’t be about me. Work, for example. If a patient has the same or a similar condition as myself, I can’t shut up about how much I understand what they’re going through, or how X treatment has helped me, blah blah blah. As if a patient is going to give a shit. They’re here for their problems, not mine.
My coworkers have noticed it too. I can hear them talking about it and laughing about it. Thing is, I can’t really blame them. I see myself making things about me and I can’t stop. It’s extremely embarrassing.
This kind of social self destruction is maddening. Why can’t I keep my problems to myself and just STFU? One would think self-preservation would kick in at some point. “Oh wait, they’re laughing at you. Stop. Abort mission.” But no. I just keep on yapping.
I could blame it on astrology. I’m a Leo so I can’t help making things about me, right?
Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.
I’ve got to be more aware of what I’m saying and how I’m saying it. I can’t keep making things all about me and inserting my input on things that are none of my business.
Somebody just put a muzzle on me already.